S.H.A.Z.A.M.!

I was moved to say, "Shazam!" today in a certain instance as it used to be one of my favorite interjections growing up in Kentucky, and what kid didn't want to be either Isis or Captain Marvel, seriously? They were the bomb. (I think that is clearly evinced by the popularity of the either real name or nickname of many women today across all races in America, that being Isis.)

Yet, like with many things, looking at things we knew in childhood can mean something quite different as adults. For me, the great challenge is to find the balance between the wonder of that little boy in Kentucky who wants to be Captain Marvel merely by shouting out "Shazam!" and the middle-aged man in Belgium who says it out of nostalgia, but had to go to Wikipedia to refresh his memory about the show, namely, what the hell does, "Shazam!" mean?

For many, it is a freakishly adept application out of an Orwell or Huxley novel that can "read" music on the radio and tell you what it is. I cannot even begin to fathom that one.

However, the original usage in the show was an acronym for S.olomon, H.ercules. Atlas. Z.eus. Achilles. and M.ercury. Whoah, now that is some power. These were the elders whom Billy Batson would invoke when he needed some extra star power to get the job done as Captain Marvel.

What got me thinking though, was, which "elders" would we call upon today? I am intrigued by the ones who were chosen then:

S.olomon, a wise and judicious lawgiver
H.ercules, a demi-God who had to prove himself through 12 Labors, (though ultimately went berserk and killed his wife,...not in the Disney version, but pretty status quo for a Greek Hero)
A.tlas, the metaphor for ultimate punishment of Duty
Z.eus, all-powerful sleaze bag
A.chilles, demi-God who begrudges his Duty in battle, til it becomes personal, then goes berserk and desecrates Hector's body, who, BTW is waaaaayyy cooler than Achilles
M.ercury, the messenger God, who lives between the Gods and Mortals, aka Hermes

Pretty interesting Rogue Gallery there, ranging from Justice to Injustice, Gods to Human, Power to Defeated, and fallen heroes.

So, whom would America pick now from the Pantheon of Gods and Demi-Gods? What qualities would we value above others? Which would we call upon in our Time of need?

More importantly, perhaps, would we use that council and experience to help others, or to help ourselves? How often do people call out to the Gods for the sake of others, without asking for something for themselves? I wonder. Does that go contrary to the very grain of who we are as Humans?

Since I am stuck in the 70s and 80s today it seems, one of my favorite LPs (Long-Playing, for you young'ins) was Rush's Hemispheres. Being a typical Rush concept album, it tells the story of the emergence of Cygnus X-1, which is the name of a massive black hole, as a New God within the Pantheon. There is a battle amongst the Gods and Goddesses, and the narrator, who becomes Cygnus X-1, watches on in horror and dismay at the dissolution of the Universe. The two main fighters are Apollo and Dionysos, which is clearly a nod to Nietzsche's Birth of Tragedy.

Apollo, the God of Reason and Music, and Light battles with Dionysos, the God of Intoxication, Decadence, and Darkness, a thinly veiled metaphor of the individual soul, much like Plato's well-known allegory of the Soul as a charioteer trying to harness the power of a Light and a Dark horse to keep an even balance.

Ultimately, a new God is needed, Cygnus, who becomes "knighted" as the God of Balance, a perfect sphere of Light and Dark, much like the Chinese concept of Yin and Yang , something Light and something Dark. For Nietzsche, the clash of the titanic Gods of Apollo and Dionysos, the result was Art, forged out of a mixture of passion/intoxication and reason/restraint, Rausch und Rede.

I'll go with that. In essence, that is what Shazam! then is: a mixture of Reason, Passion, Strength, Failure, Success, Mediation, and Mitigation.

Not quite the Super Hero qualities that we see today, though paints a pretty good picture of the complexion of humanity, bringing the full spectrum of our qualities, the Good and the Bad into one, single phrase.

Shazam!

Oh Lord, Won’t you buy me an AFC Win?

Ok, I’m going to be the guy who unceremoniously farts in the Tebow rose-perfumed elevator which is currently stuck between floors. 

I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut and fingers off of the keyboards for this topic, and had hoped the beleaguered and bruised Steelers would do something to dispense of this media-induced malarkey, but alas, Big Ben and the Terrible Towel club couldn’t pull it off, so here we are with yet another week of talking heads yapping about Tebow “Magic.”

If you have been following the NFL this year, you will be well aware that this is most likely the greatest line-up of quarterbacks the League has ever seen, and that is inclusive of the fact that Peyton Manning has been sitting on the sidelines all season.

If you pick the top 6 ranked quarterbacks: Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Eli Manning, Matthew Stafford, and Philip Rivers, you will have an AVERAGE of 4,992 yards, 14 interceptions, 38 TD’s and a quarterback rating of 103. Those numbers are staggering if you have ONE quarterback with them on the stat books. If you know anything about NFL numbers, this should have made your jaw drop. Again, that is with the elder Manning sitting out for the season and Roethlisberger having a very, very bad season in comparison.

It has been quite a year for rookie Quarterbacks as well: Cam Newton, Andy Dalton, and T.J. Yates all have had outstanding years with nary the hype that previous rookies such as Matt Leinhart (who?), Vince Young (What?), and Sam Bradford (Where?) have recently had.

But, what is the story that all of the media picks up on? Tim Tebow and his “magic” and the fact that he kneels on the turf, which ludicrously beyond all possible words in my head can fathom, has become known as “Tebow-ing” as if he invented the single-bended knee prayer position. Excuse me while I existentially barf. 

I love good stories in Sports, I really do, but this is not a good sports' story, but rather a story which confirms how bankrupt America is in its ideas about religion and what is important in life. I really, and I mean really hope that an Omniscient, Omnipotent power is not busy taking sides on American Football. Seriously, people?

I know that this should not get to me, and in reality, it does not get to me, but it does make me pause long enough to sit down and write this out. What is fundamentally wrong with this picture? Many things come to mind.

Some secular, some sacred, some downright ridiculous and illogical.

On the secular front, this just stings of the American preference for spectacle over substance at times. And, this is a shame because Americans and America are not superficial, but boy, we sure do little to dispel that myth at times, this being a prime example. Why have we not heard more about  some of the other QB’s this year in relationship to the Tebow factor? Simple, his team has won several very late-in-the game close calls, and then he prays and suddenly it becomes magic, and a one-man show.

To be sure, Tim Tebow threw the final pass that won the game against the Steelers, but it was Demaryius Thomas who caught the ball and ran with it while his other teammates made the rest of the play with pass protection and blocking. Yet, to read the media reports, Tebow descended rejuvenated  from the heavens, threw the best pass ever known to man, (so it must be divinely inspired magic), and saved Denver’s pride while the stadium erupted into unbridled jubilation of the second coming of Elway, while even the great Elway himself cracked a smile.

The only truth to that hyperbole is the phrase, “the great Elway” because he was great. And, he was great over a long period of Time, and even when Denver lost, Elway was usually still great. He has come under a lot of fire for not (Te)bowing before the great, white Hope and heaping praise upon praise on him for winning six close games. Well, as in the case of this past game, if Tebow had been doing anything in the entire last HALF of the football game, Overtime most likely would not have been necessary. I just see it as, if he had not made the winning play (he is the damn Quarterback after all, it's his JOB), then he really blew the rest of the game. Fine, he “pulled the trigger,” but at that point, he and Roethlisberger had been playing Russian Roulette and they had cocked and fired five times. One of them was bound to get the shot off. One play does not win a game. The entire build-up to an Overtime is that two teams played either equally well or equally bad, or in this case, equally MEDIOCRE. This was not a good game. The Steelers literally limped into this game, so it was hardly a stunning surprise to seem them defeated. And, this was no miracle, nor magic, nor anything remotely divine.

Imagine what would have happened if Tebow had lain prostrate in the direction of Mecca, for example, after this play, before doing his victory lap (do you think Jesus did victory laps after his deeds?), praising Allah, instead of “the Lord”? We would be having quite a different discussion in the newspapers. Or, if he had busted out into an ancestral dance that he had been raised with? Or, if he thanked the great God Shiva for his all-powerful help. Or, had gone to a Santaria voodoo ceremony the night before, still having chicken blood stains on his hands.

What then, America, would you do? How would you respond?

The country I was born in claims to be based upon religious tolerance, but in cases like this, I believe that tolerance would be exhausted quite quickly.

The Dallas Cowboys, or affectionately known as God’s Team by the zealots of Interstate 30,  famously built a stadium so that God, while not organizing and running the universe, could idly watch the Cowboys....LOSE??? Oh, wait, so God doesn’t even like His/Her/Its own team?

The point is, I shouldn’t even know that Tebow is a believer, of any faith. This is Football, not the salvation of souls at hand.

But, the sadder fact is that this is what people will hold on to as religion. Is that so bad, one may ask? Well, in a word, yes. Yes, it is that bad. How can substituting a 24 year-old kid who kneels on the football field for any real look into the substance of faith, belief, or divinity be a good thing? It could only, and I mean only argued that it is a lesser of two “evils,” meaning at least people aren’t dying over this. That is about it. This is a damn football game.

Wake up. It’s not Tebow Time on my clock. 

This is not Divine Intervention, America. It's just a game. There are bigger, much bigger things in this world to be attributing such power to.