In a Fog

Living in a foreign country has many challenges.

Belgium has no shortage of them.

Currently I have just moved from probably one of the most amazing neighborhoods in northern Europe, that of the Zurenborg area of Antwerp to another beautiful neighborhood, but without the dynamics of life that my former place had. I am sad, but at the same time, the move was necessary. I am closer to my daughter's school and she has more of her own space.

However, I am in a fog about where exactly I fit in in this society. Am I an ex-pat? Yes and no. Am I a conjugal EU citizen? Yes and no. Am I merely an American who has found himself as a stranger in a strange land? Yes and no.

Recently there were elections for the local level and Bart De Wever was voted in as the new Mayor of Antwerp. Make no mistake, Mr. De Wever is extremely intelligent, but I question his motives. Being part of the nationalistic movement, he wishes that Flanders succeeds to its own "country". Now, not that it could not do so, but it is a bit odd being mayor of one of the few cities that literally has representation from almost every country on the planet. There are residents from 173 countries in this city. Think about that. Seriously, let that sink in.

And, yet, the city just elected an elitist, exclusionary mayor. I am confused. Antwerp has been a world center for 500 years. I seriously doubt that Rubens, a friend of the Mayor at the time would have supported such exclusion. Known to be fluent in about 8 languages and was the diplomat par example, Rubens was what made Antwerp a city on the map.

I don't know what will happen with Antwerp and/or Flanders. I fear the tribalism that is rampant, but it is a sign of the times. All the while, Europeans are criticizing America for being narrow minded, Europe in the background is becoming more and more limited in its scope.

People in glass houses should not throw stones I guess is the motto... Or, when in a Fog, don't drive too fast...

Syncretism

One of the things that I hear all too often about myself is that I am “not a typical American…” One of the things I have noticed living abroad is that many cultures love to throw around that phrase, “typical American,” as if 300 million people are all the same. I have realized too that the more I am in such cultures, I tend towards using the “typical” brand as well. And, well, there are clichéd and stereotypical Americans, Belgians, Italians, Indians, and so forth. So, it is a bit of a Catch-22.  So, no I am not a “typical American,” though at times, I am very much so.

However, what living in various countries has done for me is to learn a sense of syncretism, or bringing lots of viewpoints into my own belief system. This, of course, infuriates a purist, who will lament me as not taking a stand. Or, like Jim Hightower is attributed as saying that the only thing in the middle of the road is a yellow line and dead armadillos.

Well, count me in with the fallen armadillos. I am neither pro-American, nor Anti-American. I am neither for religion, nor against. I am neither Republican, nor Democrat.

Well, who the hell am I? What do I stand for?

I believe in the process and the bigger picture, one, that as Kant said, is just too damn big for us humans to comprehend. I will not take a stand on the big questions as the jury is still out for me. Is this world Good, or is it Evil? I don’t know, it is still going along, and will most likely do so long after the last human is scratching his or her cranium thinking about that question.

Though it is impossible to really, really, really live just in the moment, I do try. Yes, I am a product of my Past and the composition of my Future hopes, dreams, and desires, but we really only can process what is happening now, as we cannot change what has, nor fully predict what will.

Yet, with the combination of what we have learned, and what we wish to do, that informs us at every moment, fleeting as it may be, and gives us choices to make. Perhaps that is where I am a “typical American,” as I do believe in choices, and I do believe in the precepts of Freedom and Independence that shaped my country, regardless of the atrocities against such concepts that it itself has incurred upon itself and others.

Do we contradict ourselves? Yes, we do. As Walt Whitman wrote, “Do I contradict myself? Very Well, then I contradict myself.” We fear contradictions, and I know that I am guilty of that, both contradicting myself and pointing it out in others. However, it is the apparent contradictions that do bring a variety to our lives, for better or for worse. The best thing we can do is to learn to incorporate such diversity and contradiction into our lives, so that we can continue to move forward, and to avoid being paralyzed by the thought.